Hey Sweets!!

Sorry about being MIA but...life's been N-U-T-S I swear it has lol.
BUT
the semester is over for me so its back to blogging and I do have some things to tell you guys about. Good, bad, and funny lol.
I'll be posting tomorrow sooo....

Cleansing Time

I can honestly say that this has truly been a few of the craziest weeks in my life and I am in no rush to repeat the experience, believe me lol. I learned a lot about some of the different people in my life and I can't lie...my perceptions on a few of them changed: some for the better and some for the worse. But at the end of the day: I know it's all a part of helping me grow into the person I need to be.

Let's see, where to start? I guess with the most surprising part. Someone that I considered a "best" friend, even a "sister", showed me her true colors and how she truly felt about me and even though it hurt a lot at first and still hurts now, I'm glad I know all of this now rather than years down the line ya know? I've learned to put the people in my life in categories and keep them there, for my own sake and for the first time ever, I feel no guilt about doing it.

What I'm about to say now...I don't believe it and neither do my two girls that I told about it but here goes: I've finally gotten the strength to let my ex-boyfriend pull completely out of my life. Even though, it only happened because of an argument we had, I realized that no matter what I did and no matter how hard I tried, it was never going to be good enough for him. I've given him nothing but my love and all that was in me since the age of 15 (and I'm 21 now) and he basically threw it back in my face and said that it meant nothing at all. Well, I told him if that was the case, then I'd just get out of his life since I mean nothing to him...I expected for myself to break down but instead? I felt such a feeling of relief that it took me for a surprise. I can finally move on from him and find the person that God meant for me who WILL appreciate and love me the way I'm meant to be loved.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

I'm Back Hons!

 and for a while I thought I may be one of those people.

for awhile there, with everything that I had going on, I thought I had lost my passion for writing but thank goodness that wasn't the case. I just needed a break to get myself and recharge my batteries so to speak lol.

I think some people need to learn what the real meaning of being friends is. Not the elementary school meaning of the word, which some people never grow out of but the ADULT meaning of being someone's friend.

I never thought I'd say this but now I realize why my mother made sure that I could stand on my own two feet and on my own and why she taught me to never really need others...it kills me how I give my all to every person that I call or have ever called a "friend" and in the end, I still feel alone.

Yes, I love to go out and have fun but that's not all of the time. I expect for REAL friends to understand when I'm tired and just wanna relax and NOT be given grief over it. I'm all for a few jokes here and there but there comes a point when it's considered going too far and some people don't understand that.


People that claim to be "best friends" didn't seem to catch on that after awhile the jokes weren't funny anymore but the minute my little sister saw my face she knew something was wrong....I told her what happened and even SHE couldn't get why they were acting like that...what does that say?

It's funny because there have been sooo many times when I haven't wanted to go out or even be bothered with them but I did it anyway. Wanna know why? because I was trying to be a good friend and this is what I get in return?

If that's the case, then I'd rather not have anymore close friends and just keep everyone as acquaintances and associates because obviously having friends hurts.